


Debris

by urtin



Category: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angry Charles, Angst, Fix-it attempt, I wreck the movieverce, Loneliness, M/M, Missing Scene, POV Third Person, Protective Erik
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-03-10 06:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3280334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urtin/pseuds/urtin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kind of 'fix-it' drabbles through the DoFP. I'm screwing with timeline.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native, sorry in advance for eventual awkward narration style. Un-beta'd.

Almost every morning Erik woke up with a thought of ‘how could it be if…’ and why it didn't turn out another way.

Why does everything become like this; why he still thinks about it, why he hopes. Charles can get carried away easily, he’s too soft, he’s so… impossible. Erik knows he had been spared. He knows he was fooled and he feels miserable. His _friend_ wanted to change his mind in days, he wanted to destroy philosophy that kept him alive and sane for years.

He felt too hot and then too cold. Time destroyed his mind: every other minute he dreamed about Charles next to him, as an equal, and as a _partner._ Why on Earth they can’t deal with it together? Again he feels doomed; he knows exactly what would Charles said about this idea. This is surreal, because Charles would never be like Erik imagined him to be, and if he was… he would never open the school and would never helped Erik. It wouldn't be Charles he knows now, he wouldn’t be his friend - they’d kill each other. Charles would…

He could kill him if he was like Erik imagined him now, beside him. 

Fortunately, Charles can get carried away easily, he’s too soft and kind. And Erik will protect what have left between them. Because every Villain needs his personal Wizard.


	2. Chapter 2

For the first few months Charles kept hoping and didn’t close balcony for days. But when the last student had left the school, he closed all doors and windows.

He took injections with whiskey and it made him delirious. Alcohol whirls his mind and helps him. It sedates and makes him calm.

Sometimes he forgets about medicine and voices come back. He starts to see everything again and again, it loops in his consciousness. Dim ghosts are too colorful and loud. They are buzzing in his head and his eyes watering sometimes. Every time hallucinations become stronger and louder. Charles feels drumming in his head, it’s too heavy; like he’s in Cerebro again. He often sees Erik beside him, he shouts something at him, and Charles shouts too ‘Wait, Erik! Erik, you bloody idiot, what are you doing? Erik, don’t do this again! Erik, Erik, Erik…’ And then he blackens out. Every fucking time. And he stays unconscious for a day.

Today it’s different. He’s not on the beach, he’s at the mansion, but the ghost of Erik is near him. This time it’s not loud, it whispers and its eyes glisten in the dark. Feelings are unbearable. Charles wants him away, so he needs to shout. If he’ll shout long enough, the dark will come and save him from all ghosts. ‘Erik, take me away from this beach! Take me with you! You and me, we are supposed to be together! We have kids! We must protect them together! We’ll figure this out! Erik, Erik…’ Ghost is alive: it talks, swirls, blinks with its cold eyes and then Charles faints.

When he wakes up, his neck is sore from sleeping in the chair. Balcony is wide open and cold autumn wind plays with curtains. Charles closes his eyes and counts to ten. It’s quiet.


	3. Chapter 3

‘You abandoned me! You took her away and abandoned me!’ Charles shouts as hard as he can.  
‘Where were you, when we were supposed to protect each other?’ The plane starts to freeze up and nosedive. Hank tries so say something on a background, but Charles doesn’t listen. All his attention is on Erik.  
‘You took all them with you and abandoned me on that beach without my legs! How am I supposed to protect you, when you didn't want be near me? You didn't want me in your head and in your…' - he wants to say ‘heart’, but he can’t. He’s furious. It’s not fair. Erik’s not fair.  
When the plane steadies, Charles gets up and goes to pit and sits with Hank. Everyone saw their quarrel. He sits quietly for half and hour when Hank starts blabbing. Charles tries not to listen to him, he’s way too tired for any conversation.  
‘This whole idea was bad from the beginning.’  
He repeated himself for the third time already. Charles knows Hank’s right, but stays quiet. Never hearing the answer, Hank doesn’t stop:  
‘Erik hasn’t changed at all. Why did his guy… Logan, I mean. Why he thinks that Erik will help us? He will kill Raven!’  
‘I won’t let him.’  
‘From the very beginning…’  
‘Hank! Just… please, just don’t be distracted.’  
Charles is used to silence, but right this moment he wants nothing, but to be in someone else’s head. No, not Erik’s. Nevermore. Charles almost hears the screeching in Logan’s head. He needs them both and he wants them to work together. Although, he doesn’t need to be a telepath to figure this out. Charles always sees a business through no matter what. And he knows, that Erik keeps a word. The thing is: it’s Erik. Charles knows exactly how Erik’s brain works: he’s selfish and stubborn.


	4. Chapter 4

Erik the waits for the elevator.  
He’s waiting for this damn elevator for a minute already and he wants to push it with his powers, but he’s too tired for it. He wants to sleep. He wants a drink even more, than he wants to sleep, that’s why he stands here and waits for this damn elevator to come down in the hotel bar. Suddenly, he hears the steps beside him. It’s definitely not wheelchair, but heavy steps. He turns over and sees Charles, who doesn’t even look at him and stops not far from the same elevator. Erik sees a bottle of whiskey in Charles’ hands and frowns.  
‘Did you drink, Charles?’  
Erik being completely ignored. Charles purses his lips and bounces from one foot to another. Erik smells alcohol from him.  
Another minute passes in silence. Still, there’s no signs of elevator.  
He doesn’t want to believe it’s all real, he desperately wants to be somewhere else, that’s why he turns and starts to walk away. Charles doesn’t look at him, but finally speaks:  
‘Sometimes, it seemed like you visited me. But if I wanted you away, all I needed is to shout. So simple…’ Erik freezes. He knows. Charles kno… ‘But you didn’t come, did you? You’ve been so busy in er… in jail. And why would you come? You don’t have anyone to return to! We are nothing for you, right, Erik?’  
The last words Charles splits out to Erik’s back. But Erik doesn’t dare over to face Charles, he just says: ‘Charles, if you…’ But he doesn’t have a chance to finish, because Charles cuts him short.  
‘I’ve waited for you, Erik. I’ve waited for so long. I kept telling myself, that eventually you come back with everyone. We’d accepted you back. I’d welcome you. And you…’  
Finally, elevator rings. There was a moment of absolute stillness. The next thing Erik hears is Charles going in the booth and button being pushed. He focuses and violently snaps the doors with his power; he still doesn’t turn his back and sends the elevator down the first floor.  
_I’ve been beside you, but you didn’t need me._  
Charles doesn’t hear it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Later in hotel. ~~Merry whatever Saint's day it is. Meh. Romantics.~~

Erik hates him and hates himself. He tries to rationalize his actions, but can’t come up with something more plausible than ‘he will be robbed and killed here’.  
He drags drunken Charles all the way from the bar: across the hall and to the lobby. Finally, they near Erik’s room. Erik doesn’t know where Charles’s room is - it’s not near his, because Charles wanted to be somewhere else, but not near Erik. And Erik respects this decision - which is why he’s not going to search it now.

Charles stays unconscious, even when Erik stumbles and crushes with him on a single bed in the room. Erik’s shoulder stiff and sore - Charles turned up to be much heavier than he expected. Now he’s certain that he shouldn’t take him from the bar. What if Hank will come looking for him? Or when he’s going to say to Charles, when he wakes up? Okay, he can think about this later. After a nap, perhaps. He takes off boots from Charles and covers the man with a blanket. He finds his peace in the armchair near the bed.

Erik wakes up from noise. The sun was rising.  
Charles make fuss, trying to sit, but gives up, curses and lays on a back. Erik puts two and two: it’s time for serum, Charles’ legs are giving up; he gets up from the armchair and moves closer to the bed. He has no idea where Hank might be, especially as how to ask for a serum.

‘Oooh, it’s you! You’re here every time if I need a dose.’ 

Charles laughs and blabbing something else, Erik almost pays no attention - he saw before how telepathy comes back. In absolute silence, he helps Charles to rise and guides him to the bathroom. Erik never answered, he didn’t know what else could he say. He’d run out of words long time ago, since times when he came to the mansion. He barely visited Charles two times, and then president… The bullet glided away. Again. Like back on the beach. And for a long time, Erik couldn’t bear understand why it was harder. 

‘The voices. There’s so much of them. It hurts, Erik. I’m hurt…’  
Erik tries to clear his mind, so Charles would feel himself more calm and secure. But he always had problems with it and now again Charles hears him. His blue eyes pierces through him and Charles tries to find something with his gaze, but he doesn’t touch Erik’s mind. Erik helps Charles to sit on a side of a bath and tries to turn on the water still holding him.

‘Why are you doing this?’ Charles finally speaks. ‘All the same every time. And every time I think this is the last, but you keep appearing. You are my most lasting delusion.’

Charles whines. Erik wants to sleep. He could leave him in the bar. He should leave him there. Hank would fetch him sooner or later. Why on Earth he did his: hands work automatically and he helps Charles to climb into the bathtub. 

‘Thank you, Erik. I’m okay, I’ll manage myself from here.’

And Erik walks off, closing the door behind. _I’m right beside you, if you need me._ He’s sure Charles heard him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I messed up: I forgot entire part of the story. In was written back in March. But I fixed everything!  
> Gardez! - used in chess to warn that an opponent's queen is in danger of immediate capture.
> 
> Beta: Fucking Snape.

He thinks _what the hell._  
He thinks _I’m gonna die._  
He thinks about the pain in every muscle.  
His head is throbbing at someone else’s unwanted thoughts. He can’t shut them down. He doesn’t have enough power for it.

“At least one of us must behave himself.”  
“Tell me more.”  
“Like you told me in the first place back then.”

Charles keeps silent, water is cooling down. Erik being helpful only makes it worse.  
“I’ll help you.”  
“Don’t touch me.”  
“I’ve started it and I’ll finish. I’ll bring Hank after you get out of the bathtub.”  
“Why are you doing this?”

Charles is ashamed. He’s so ashamed that as grown man he needs somebody’s help, moreover he needs help from a man who betrayed him once. And what if he just drops him there? And leaves. And Charles can’t make himself cry for help.  
_Gardez!_  
Erik’s body is hot. Much hotter than expected. He holds him tightly, watches Charles not to stumble and fall all the way back into the room. When Erik tries to help to get Charles into bed, he starts grumbling again.

“Leave me! For God’s sake, just leave me alone! I didn’t call for you! I didn’t ask you for the help! I didn’t want to bring you back from the Pentagon! If Logan didn’t convince me, I would never… you hear me? I would never do this!”

Erik slowly breathes out but keeps silent. Charles knows this silence - Erik is annoyed. But he keeps silent just to make Charles mad, he knows it for sure.

“And now listen to me carefully. There’s nothing to stop me from helping you because you can’t do a thing without me now. Look what happened to you. You’re not the man who dived into the sea to save my life that night. You’re not the man who found mutants and taught them to control their abilities. You’re not the man who helped me to restraint my power. You’re not the man who tried to stop me no matter what. You’re not mine... my friend Charles Xavier. You don’t fight. Fight, Charles! Fight with me! Fight against me on the other side, if there’s no other option!”  
Charles drops his head.  
“You destroyed me.”  
“I’ve been coming to you.”

His temples throbbed. _So, it wasn’t the serum!_

“Why? To make sure I’m no more dangerous to you?”  
“To make sure you’re alive.”  
Instead of speaking Erik puts his cold hands on Charles’ head: one goes to his forehead, another to the nape of his neck. Charles sits here frozen, Erik feels his tension. He clears his throat:  
“Better?”  
“Yes.”  
All these years alone, in jail, and now Erik can’t look in Charles’ eyes. He finds himself mesmerized by this color, it seems unreal. If you’d ever seen this blueness once, you will never forget it. Erik could forget his name, but not these eyes. These eyes enchant him and he covers them with his hand; Charles stays silent and unmoving. They sit like this for five more minutes until the silence is unbearable.  
“Where I can find Hank?”  
“Third door on the right.”  
“All right.”  
Erik nearly runs out as he can’t stay there anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What I do during my lunch-break.  
> Zeitnot - in chess, the situation where a player has little time to complete the required moves.
> 
> Beta: Fucking Snape.

The second time Charles has woken up, he was alone.  
He’s sure that he saw Erik earlier, but he can't make himself remember what was he talking about. He just remembers his glare... Like Erik is watching a man dying. The same glare from the beach. His temple piercing with pain as these memories are still raw and vexing.  
  
Charles' head was thrumming, but he didn't actually hear anything. Good. At least Hank always takes care of him. What would he be doing without him? Charles knew it was the worst idea from the start. He tried to think forward, but Erik always, always was two steps ahead of him. He was trained this way.  
  
_Zeitnot._  
  
He failed and he almost lost his sister. But the worst part was Erik public declaration of power, all he dreamed of since the day they parted of the ways. Every time Charles thinks of Erik, he thinks of his betrayal. His mind is looped on it, he can’t neither throw this memory away nor accept it and keep on living. He feels being out of place, out of time.  
He keeps replaying that day in Paris: when did he make the wrong move?  
  
Now, almost broken down, he faced Cerebro and he's not ready at all. Machine is not human, a Machine feels your weakness immediately and attacks it. Charles is broken, this means the Machine won’t function properly since he’s the main detail. He feels himself small, an insignificant screw in a huge system, in someone’s plans.  
  
But only when he sees himself through Logan’s mind, he finally realises - he is his own instrument. His own Machine. And _yes_ , his mind is shouting _yes, Erik will be behind you. He will catch you if you fall. He will accept his mistakes and you accept him._ But right now, he’s still guilty and still mourning for the past.  
_Like me._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stalemate - a drawing position in chess in which a player is not in checkmate but has no legal move to play.
> 
> Beta: Fucking Snape

Charles waits for Erik to appear in every moment. He feels there will be another trick, there will be another move to show his power, his superiority above the people. He knows Erik better that anyone, he was closer to him than anyone could ever dream. Charles truly thought he found something precious, something beautiful in Erik. Never in his life he made such a mistake.   
Nobody but Erik could bring a bloody stadium.   
This must be the second circle of hell for Charles. The first was Erik’s coin going through his head. He still remembers this feeling after all these years he spent drinking to the point where he almost forgot his name.

_Stalemate._

There's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide and Erik is split open for telepathy. He still feels this lightness in his head, like distant buzzing. Not pain, nothing physical, but it slows his thoughts and he can’t concentrate. More than anything, he hates this feeling when he can’t control his mind. They could take everything away, but not his sanity, not his control; this was something that kept him alive all this time.  
_We’re not done, Charles._  
_No, we are. Leave me alone. You've done enough damage here._  
And then he speaks aloud:   
“Leave. Leave or I swear, I'll make you leave.”  
Of course, Charles just tries to frighten him, but Erik feels like he’s exiled now.  
“Are you scared of me, Charles?”  
“No, I'm not.” 

Charles lets him be and lets him go away. With this, Erik doesn’t hesitate any more minute. He lifts himself in the air and leaves, his gaze still fixed on Charles. Watching Erik’s escape, Charles knows they’re going to fight all their lives until they have to unite at some point. And he’s ready for everything Erik would do, he knows him like nobody else.  
He was ready.  
_Come back to me._ He thinks. _And try to beat me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you finished reading: thank you!


End file.
